Church, the Koinonia, the body, a family all mean the same to me. In case you didn’t know the church I call home doesn’t have a membership per se. I mean we want everyone to feel at home and fellowship and invest their lives into our body but we don’t have a formal membership regiment. And as some of you know there are churches where membership is everything, very similar to wedding vows. As I write this my only disclaimer is that I am not here speaking to a regular, everyday churchgoer, I am specifically speaking to those who have accepted the call (mantle) of leadership. That being said what if we acted like it was a true commitment we were making when we sign on to minister, or take on the responsibility of leading people, or say “This is MY church”. If so I wonder if it would be good to have some kind of prerequisite or prenuptials if you will. This way when Phil & Phyllis Flaky, fake names are being used to protect the identity of a mass quantity of people (You know who you are), come and tell you that they are leaving the church you could at least remind them of why they started coming in the first place. Here are some of the more common I’m leaving statements:
- “after months & months of prayer I/We”
- “We still love the church”
- “There’s nothing wrong, it’s us”
- “I really feel this is what the Lord is telling me”
I mean I have heard similar arguments with people who are separating or divorcing. So let’s face it we already said it was like a wedding so let’s look at the different stages, and see if there might be a pattern we as Pastors can pickup on.
- Courtship: They come and visit and everyone is so nice, the music is catchy and the Pastor is great he hasn’t even mentioned Hell fire & Brimstone…… so they stay.
- Honeymoon: They see the Lord moving, they begin to catch the vision. They decide to get involved, and are blessed. They begin to grow
- Empty Nest (Head): It is time to sit back and relax. I mean hey all that ministry stuff was for a season right? Then the laziness sets in and the Honeymoon is over. They look around and the reality of life sets in;
-
- There are some things about this place they don’t like.
- Look at so & so they are _____ (fill in the blank).
- The worship just isn’t what it used to be.
- The pastor is being too _____(fill in the blank). Besides they don’t really need/want me.
- Mid-life crisis/Decision time: What do we do? Do we stay and let God continue to move, or do we give up and say forget it.
- Golden Years: Look at all our blessings, our grandchildren are stepping up to serve, God is good.
OR
- Olden Years: Look at this, our grandchildren are spending more time at that church, “What Church???”
Where are you?
anotherjarvi said
I think this is where our American culture has really seeped into the Church here. It’s so easy to get so focused on what special thing the Lord has called ME to do, or what is good for “my ministry calling” that we forget that serving has nothing to do with ME. Jesus said that the least among us would be considered the greatest. Let’s not forget that to be a servant means to be humble, putting the needs of the body before our own and that our worldly notions of success and a stately career have absolutely nothing to do with what is of eternal, lasting value. What happened to washing each other’s feet? What happened to mourning with those who mourn and rejoicing with those who rejoice? We shouldn’t expect to be effective if we can’t even do these things. -I always think of the apostle John, I imagine him old and wrinkled, full of the Holy Spirit saying, “My children, -Love one another!” I think that kind of Love, -Godly Love, -the kind that moved Jesus to give up His life for us can be humiliating, uncomfortable, and hard. -But it glorifies God! All our moments of self-seeking and grasping will be lost. Only those precious (and in my own case relatively few) works done in humility, obedience, and love will last. Let’s learn to be servants of all.
Bluefreak57 said
Steve,
You are dead on Brother…. There is nothing more that need be said.